Cities

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City, Pros, Cons, Average Ranking, Tub’s Ranking, Mark’s Ranking, Most Like

Athens, World class rubble. Great food. Lovely streets. View from hotel. Easy to walk. Nice people., Didn’t stay long enough,1,1,1,Surface of the moon with nice tavernas.

Rome,Beautiful city. Loads of historic sites. Pope’s house. National Urinal.,Sistine Fingerpainting Competition. Rude people in crowds.,2,1,2,Ancient Rome but with bus tours.

Istanbul,Vibrant city. Easy to walk around. Lovely noises. Call to prayer. Very different., Poor hotel room but central.,3,3,4 ,Nothing on Earth except maybe Cairo.

Berlin, Architecture. People. Restaurants. Split between East and West. Best museums of the trip. Berlin Wall. Fire in hotel bar., Kept apologising for WWII.,4,4,5,Inglorious Bastards

Barcelona,Amazing castle. Great feeling. Lovely street with hills.,Too many cable cars.,4,6,3,A shopping centre in Las Vegas.

Vienna, Most beautiful overall architecture of the trip. Lovely bridge club. Christmas markets with grog. Very clean, Crappy Ultravox song. Ordinary food.,6,5,7,Everywhere else in fucking Europe.

Prague,Old architecture. Great palace. Lots of history. Good Irish bar., Lots of bad luck (for us). Shitty pub crawl.,7,6,8,Disney’s Beauty and the Beast but without the pitchforks.

Budapest,The only cunt and shunt city in the world. Really interesting history and good to walk around. Beautiful architecture. Great Indian food., Shit coffee. Rained a lot.,8,6,9,Everywhere else in fucking Europe.

Amsterdam, Canals. Very different to the rest of Europe. Body Works museum., Tub had the shits because the hotel was too far from town.,9,12,6,Perth in Scotland when the Tay flooded. But on crack.

Madrid,Huge wide streets. Best hotel.,Crazy statues. Awful tourist information.,10,10,10,A town full of runways.

Brussels,Restaurants. Nice square with lights.,Poiticians. Fairly boring.,11,6,15,A train station waiting room.

Verona,Cheap wine. Great food. Nice and small.,Don’t look after their rubble. No good if you don’t like Italian food.,12,11,12,A small version of Rome.

Zurich,Clean. Small. Easy to walk around.,Fucking expensive!,12,12,11,Everywhere else in Europe.

Marseille,Good Irish pubs.,Too many French people.,14,12,13,A fishing town in winter.

Paris,Good transport system. Good spot to pick up a wig.,Cold.,15,12,14,London.

Frankfurt, Functional town. Not for tourists. Great laundrette possibly the best in Frankfurt., Barbers don’t speak English.,16,16,16,Wester Hails or Blacktown.

Sofia, Only stayed two nights. Crazy little shops., Awful shithole without compare. Good Medieval restaurant but wasn’t themed. It was just Medieval.,17,17,17,Having your head held down an unflushed toilet.

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